THE QUICKSANDS OF DENIAL

This chapter in brief:

The boy finds himself sinking in quicksand. The Frogman tells him, "Boy, your anger and behaviour has you stuck." In response the boy lashes out with, "I'm not angry!", a statement he maintains for a considerable time. Finally the boy is honest. Like looking in a mirror, he realises he is angry and indeed his behavior is shocking. The boy learns that the solution to his attitude is forgiveness.

Note:

• Every statement of denial causes the boy to sink deeper into the quicksands. Yet when he is honest with himself each acknowledgement of truth helps him to extricate himself from the quicksand.



• Honesty with yourself and forgiveness are essential first steps to healthy new behaviors. To be angry about something or at someone consumes much internal energy and has a profound affect on your inner world; how you think, feel and behave. Unforgiven hurts and pain linger in the unconsciousness and recycle into daily life. They take ugly forms like anger outbursts, episodes of depression, or dangerous negative self-talk, such as, "I'm worthless, nobody gives a darn about me".



• Forgiveness is the solution, especially in the on-going interpersonal relationships of the family. Keeping score and letting issues build is most destructive. Staying in a constant state of issues discussed, and forgiveness given and received, is the place to be. Yesterday's conflicts are past. What has happened has happened; therefore to continually hold on to yesterday's anger only debilitates self and ruins your now. Rather, attempt to clean the slate daily and free each other for a brighter tomorrow.

Some questions to prompt discussion:

• "How long could the boy have stayed stuck in the quicksand?"



• "What was the first step the boy took to get himself out of the quicksand?"



• "Why didn't the Frogman pull the boy out of the quicksand?"

"Is a lousy attitude a 'behavior'?"
"When you cop an attitude what are you really saying?"